Teaching the kids New Year traditions
23 January 2012| Children greet their grandparents on the first day of Chinese New Year before they are rewarded with the ang pow packet, which is a blessing. |
By BRIGITTE ROZARIO
With all the celebrating, merry-making and ang pow packets, it is quite easy for kids to forget that Chinese New Year is a time for family and traditions.
It's that once-a-year occasion when the whole family comes back for the reunion dinner on the eve of Chinese New Year. This is followed by the first meal of the New Year together – usually vegetarian.
On the first day of New Year, the children also serve tea to their parents and grandparents and greet them, wishing them prosperity, health and a great year ahead. After which, they will be given the ang pow packets – a blessing from their elders.
These days, parents have kept some of the traditions and adapted others with the times.
Greeting elders
Cherry Wong, mum of two aged 12 and 15, says that while she doesn't really celebrate Chinese New Year, she does make it a point to observe and practise certain traditions because of her mother-in-law.
“Actually when we wish each other, especially our elders, we don't just wish 'Happy New Year!' You really have to wish them good health and prosperity … depending on what that person wants in the year. It's like the long greetings you see in Chinese movies – this is the actual greeting, but I think the new generation just doesn't do that anymore. They just say 'Gong Xi Fa Cai!'
“Within my own family we still do the long greetings. The children must greet their elders in this way with their hands clasped in front of them in the Chinese greeting manner and only after that will they be given an ang pow,” she explains.
According to Wong, the celebrations usually start with the reunion dinner, which is a must. Traditionally, everyone goes back to her mother-in-law's house for the reunion dinner as well as the first and second day of New Year. Her mother-in-law normally cooks.
However, recently, they have been dining out as the family has gotten too big to cook for. As she points out, Chinese dishes can't be cooked in advance and warmed up at mealtime. The food has to be cooked and eaten immediately and this is hard to manage for a large family.
Visiting relatives
For Kok Wai Yin, mum of three – aged five to 15 – Chinese New Year is a time for family, especially now that both her elder children are in boarding school.
“It's also a time to visit relatives. Truth to be told, we hardly visit relatives, aunts and cousins at other times. We only make it a point to do that during the New Year.
“Long before my mum passed away, I used to be the one organising and cooking the reunion dinner held at my father's house, provided we did not go back to my in-laws' place in Kuching. Then, after a while, we started having dinners at a restaurant as it became too tedious for me to cook for all. I don't celebrate Chap Goh Meh – that is just another day for me. It's mostly for couples like a Chinese Valentine's Day. But, we usually have lunch together on the seventh day as it is Yan Yat which is Everybody's Birthday,” explains Kok.
Mindful of inauspicious things
The celebrations last much longer for Florence Cho, mother of four, aged 10 to 21. It typically goes on for a month, she explains. With everyone's busy schedules, the feasting and merry-making happens on weekends or days when it's convenient for friends and doesn't stop after two weeks.
“Although we buy new clothes on a weekly basis, for CNY in particular we must buy new clothes. But, this year for me, it's quite different because my dad passed away and it's still within the 100 days after his passing. So, this year, we can't give ang pow.
“For CNY, it's important to take note of the things you don't do such as saying inauspicious things, mention death, or anything bad. These are things you shouldn't say on the first day.
“First thing in the morning, the kids have to serve tea to the parents and grandmother. That's how they 'earn' their angpow. We don't have the kids say a long greeting anymore. These days we simplify it because a lot of kids can't really speak Cantonese, so they can only say 'Gong Xi Fa Cai.' That's about it. That is the norm that they will utter.
“We wear new clothes in the morning. That is quite normal. As a family, the first meal we have is at home together. So, all my siblings will come over. They come to my place because I'm the eldest daughter and my parents have been staying with me. My mother-in-law and the rest of the family will also come over. So, everyone is at home.
“The Reunion Dinner the day before would be the same as everyone comes over for that, too,” she says.
Family meals
For Chinese New Year, most of the time, the table will have sweet items such as a sweet herbal tea with the hope that the year ahead will be smooth and sweet, explains Cho.
“The first meal in the morning would be a vegetarian one. My mum would observe this strictly for half a day but for us it's just a dish because we would eat other things as well. But that vegetarian dish would be there traditionally.
“Then, of course, later on on the first day most of the time, family and friends will visit us. These days, we have friends having open house from the first day and, in fact, it goes on for the entire month, on weekends or whichever day suits them. It's a fun time, especially for the kids,” she adds.
As two of her elder sons are studying in Singapore, New Year is the time to see them and enjoy some family time. However, the university break for New Year is short in Singapore and usually the boys are soon itching to return.
| Cho with husband Dr Jason Tan and their sons. |
Month of feasting
New Year is also the time to catch up with relatives from her dad's side – the aunts and uncles. Although they are all within Kuala Lumpur and Petaling Jaya, the family doesn't get together that often and this is the time when everyone makes it a point to meet up.
“We visit the aunts and uncles and bring along the Mandarin oranges and some other gifts. Kam is gold and it symbolises prosperity, so the oranges symbolise prosperity. So, when you visit other people's homes, the first thing you wish them is 'Gong Xi Fa Cai' which means we wish you prosperity. That is a tradition that has been carried down through the different generations. The kids are well aware of that.
“Of course, being kids they do ask 'Do we have to go visiting?' But in view of getting ang pow, they will go. I always ask them, 'Do you want ang pow?' Of course they will be more than willing to go then. Of course, there will also be other cousins of theirs there so they do look forward to catching up with them. Once a year at least they get to see each other.
“We celebrate right up to Chap Goh Meh. The celebrations are not so much prayers but just the air of festivity. Within these 15 days we usually find all sorts of excuses to have a feast or eat together. It's a time for merry-making and everybody's happy,” says Cho.
Keeping traditions alive
According to Wong, there are also traditions and customs that her late mother passed down to her.
“You have to keep certain things, like lettuce, from last year to this year. It signifies the word 'alive.' And, you have to keep the whole lettuce, not the one that's chopped up. What we don't keep is melons – cucumber, old melons – because melons signifies the word 'dead.' And, you need to keep all the items that have a good meaning, such as garlic and it has to be whole, with no holes at all.
“I do tell my daughters what I'm doing and why, but how much they pay attention and remember, I really don't know.
“I don't know if it's true that keeping these things will bring you the best for that year but it doesn't hurt to follow. Anyway, I still need to keep vegetables because the market is closed the first few days of New Year. So, I just keep the lettuce. It doesn't hurt to follow,” explains Wong.
| Kok with her two daughters. All three of her kids help in the New Year preparations. |
For Kok's family, there are new clothes and the kids get involved in cleaning the house, putting up the decorations and filling up the ang pow packets. Her daughter also does the baking.
“It is more of a holiday time for them. I can't deny that they are excited with the amount of ang pow they get though. I always let them keep what they get and make sure that it is all banked into their savings accounts,” she says.
Explaining the significance
Cho's children also help with the preparations, and at least one of the elder ones will follow her to the Kepong market which she says is like a mini Chinatown, selling food and decorations.
“As we buy things, I will teach them that these are the sweet stuff that we're supposed to buy and what we need to get to decorate the house with. When I buy the items, I'll explain to them what each one means and the significance and also inform them that certain foods are only prepared and available at New Year, such as the waxed duck.
“These are things they know and hopefully by the time they start their own family, this kind of tradition is inculcated in them and they carry it through. But of course, because I have all boys, it's up to their wives, really.
“If you have daughters you can train them to do certain things, but with boys it's greatly dependent on other people's daughters,” says the realistic Cho.
| Cho: 'If you have daughters you can train them to do certain things, but with boys it's greatly dependent on other people's daughters.' |
She hopes that through the example of visiting family and friends and having meals with them, her kids will foster friendships and cross-cultural celebrations. Cho explains that while she does open her house to friends of all races and religions, some might not feel comfortable as she has dogs and because of the halal issue.
As such, Cho and her family would host dinner for Muslim friends at a restaurant, instead.
Simpler time
“The impact today is so different. Kids take certain things for granted – for example, they get new clothes almost on a weekly or monthly basis. So, they don't feel the impact. Whereas during our time, we perhaps had less. So, it's only during CNY that your parents would buy you new clothes and shoes. That's the time when everything is new and you really enjoy it much more.
“Nowadays, I think we also cut short a lot of traditions. We tend to eat out more rather than cook at home. For my family, we still eat at home a lot because we still have good chefs in the house – my mum, myself and my helper. So, my siblings and kids enjoy it.
“For other families where the mums might not cook, it's always restaurants. The ambience is different there. At home we would play a round of mahjong or gin rummy after we eat,” says Cho.
Kok, who doesn't really practise much of the traditions, says she hopes her kids might learn some of the taboos at New Year.
“Everything seems to be getting simpler nowadays. Only the reunion dinner, ang pow and the new clothes for the kids are the same. I used to have lots of friends coming over for CNY when I was a child but now, it is kind of difficult for my kids' friends to come over as people don't visit much,” she adds.
Wong hopes her children will follow some of the traditions as they are fairly easy to follow.
“I want to make the Reunion Dinner a must so that wherever they are in the future, they'll know how to come back. It's the Reunion Dinner that brings everybody back. If you don't have that, I think you might not see some of your relatives.
“I teach them right from wrong. I can't be there to protect them all the time, that's why it's important to teach them and give them the right foundation for life.
“Whatever you know, you should pass on to the next generation. If you don't pass on these traditions to the kids, you will lose your culture,” she says
